my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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