You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize