:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
