Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
