My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
