As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
