I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize