no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
