you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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