atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
