I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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