I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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