Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bring me that man meat
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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