you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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