these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
