its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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