Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
