She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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