I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
