dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
