He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
