omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
