dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
