Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
