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Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
