put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i think i have two assholes
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
