i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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