I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
