yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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