12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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