READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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