we have officially lost it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
