Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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