i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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