Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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