oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
