her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
