Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
