You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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