They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
