yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
