Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
