is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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