I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
