he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
