Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
