were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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