Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize