I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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