we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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