In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
