Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
