Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
A+ Viking dick
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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