We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
