We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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