I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
