so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
