Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
