My hair reeks of homosexuality.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
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a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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