so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
